The Child God Gave You

The offspring (can you call your adopted children, offspring?) were trying to look busier than their siblings, so I wouldn’t hand them a task.   I was distracted by the unanswerable questions that 16 year-old girls ask. If I answered straight up, they’d see my responsibility to minister to those I’m in relationship with. I get enough of that from Jesus, as it is.

Then, somebody did something awesome.

I’d like to give credit, but time passed.  I wouldn’t be able to remember 15 years of pop music if I made brain space for things like who did this one thing. The fact is, whoever did, whatever it was, is lost in the mists of time, but it stopped me in my tracks.

“It all boils down to loving the child God gave you.”

About 10 years ago, Robyn, told me to, “Enjoy your kids.”

I ignored her, because I was more concerned with fitting them into my idea of “what life should look like”, than who they were designed to be.

Today. I can’t not enjoy them.

My vision for homeschooling?  I had to let that go.

We’re dreadfully undisciplined. We don’t invite our germaphobe friends here. It’s like the zoo. I don’t give them all organic foods. We fight. They talk back. They have bad habits that need to be broken; they call them sociological imperatives. Their table manners and their conversation make me want to lay down in a darkened room and remain until God takes me home.

But.

Maybe we’re making up for lost time.

Maybe we did the rebellion thing when they were acting like mental patients as 10, 11, and 12 year-olds. One shares, as part of her Christian testimony, that her behavior toward me was deliberately destructive before she believed.

Maybe I’m an utter failure.

A long time ago, I told a counselor about my relationship with my dad, “He loves me, but he’s like that Eagles’ song, ‘Desperado’.  He just doesn’t always express himself.”

He looked at me for a long second and said, “You are telling me about your relationship with the picture in your head of who your dad is.”  He was saying, you have to deal with the dad God gave you.

I have to deal with the kids God gave me.

There was a moment last year that put every thought I had under the microscope:  :

“Why am I wasting time on this?”

“Is this important enough to dedicate the energy to?”

“I am holding on too tight.”

“It’s okay for her to pout, as long as she does the task.”

“Is that the worst thing that can happen?”

Those thoughts drove to the heart of living for my mental picture of the perfect child, the incredible mother, the ideal public image.

Of course, I’m back to majoring on the minors– Who didn’t put the freaking toilet paper on the holder?  Whose cups are all these in the living room?  Why can’t we follow the towel guidelines?

Back to saddling up and riding behinds.

Back to deciding if it’s a cross to bear or a broom to ride.

Enjoying them when they need their butts kicked.  It’s a complex art.

Someone has to do it.

Loving the kids God gave me.

Making up for lost time.

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wherever You Are

Dear Birth Mother,

I hope this finds you well.  The weather here is fine.

It’s a beautiful, awful day.

I am thinking of you and the selfless life-changing decision you made.  Of your stated reasons.  And the ones you will never tell.

And what I know is true about us moms.

You are thinking of us today.  Of the promise you trusted in, that someone would love your child with their unique needs.

No matter how fantastic the celebration, you’ll wonder what’s up with us.  I’m getting the recognition for how these guys turned out.

Well.  I need to let you know.

Most days, I am pretty sure that anything good in them is all you.

They are amazing.

They stop people in their tracks.

They move in incredible natural gifts.

They make the issues unavoidable.

Your decision changed your life forever, but if I may say.  It keeps on changing lives. More than I can count. Every day.

Wherever you are, I honor you.

With love.  Fearless.  Like yours.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Won, I Won, I Won.

WOW is my face red.  I have lost the key to the trophy case, because it has been something like a year since I have won anything blog related.  So.  In the interest of credit where it is due…


Several weeks ago, I entered the I Heart Faces Photoshop Makeover Giveaway.  There were a number of sites to sign up on and I won at Tator Tots and Jell-o. The prize was that you send one photo of yourself to Amy and she would do a photoshop makeover of your mugshot and make you look moviestar.  I won.  I did. She did.

As a result, you may begin to see a whole new me popping up.  I am very thankful both to Amy and Jennifer.  They were just doing their thing, and had no idea what a difference this would make in the way I see myself.  Thanks, Ladies.

Additionally, I have also to thank Jennifer@Always in Wonder for giving me the Stylish Blogger Award.

I have been slow on saying thank you and getting this sleek button up in the sidebar.  Thanks, Jennifer, and my apologies for my slowness!!!  As you are stopping by AIW, don’t miss the Egg Yolk Facial.
This is one of those fun, friendly pass along awards that some pass along and some don’t.  Here is the way it works:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers. (I am not sure I have 15, but I will try to come up with a fistful.)
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award!

Here are my 7 things, in no particular order.
1. I can’t have Lucky Charms Cereal in my house.  I will eat it all.  I won’t share with my children.  I won’t be nice.  I can’t imagine what might happen if I got ahold of a harder drug.  Just writing this makes me want to run to the grocery store.  The small box is currently on sale for $2.18.
2. I prefer reality TV and sitcoms to”drama”.  Reality TV is criticized because it usually isn’t a reality situation. In my reality, I have to rely on my own real life attitude, behavior, and character.  On reality TV, it is ALWAYS a test of the participants real life coping skills. How low will they go?
3. My children are adopted. It is no piece of cake, but I dig it.  I recommend it.
4. I think God does mini-miracles, because He wants to keep our undivided attention.  For example, I left a comment on Parenting By Dummies about my shopping friend being half a continent away, and a day or two later found out she is moving to a nearby city that has better shopping.  No biggie.  I just wish I had mentioned it sooner.

5. I don’t have a freebie list because that is wrong and Mark Wahlberg is not on it.
6. I love to read.
7. My family thinks I am a good cook.

If there were an eighth, I would have to say that I discovered blogging just a little more than a year ago, and have a great time getting to know people that way.  Here are my bloggers that I would give the award to.

Little Bit Quirky
Grown Up For Real
Whimsy
Super Mom Blues

These are my newest favorites, of course there is always In the Mommy Trenches, but she is having her SITS day today.  I don’t want there to be any confusion.

Thanks again ladies; I’m for the grocery store.



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