current events

My Politics

September 7, 2012 by Maggie 5 Comments

The presidential election is bearing down on us in less than eight weeks. Everyone’s on TV acting like the Republicans have a chance. Like it’s a race.

I don’t know anyone who’s excited about Romney. I kinda feel sorry for him. To be running when we all kinda know. It’s not gonna happen.

That’s just my feelings. My politics are different.

AN ACCIDENTAL GUIDE TO GETTING OVER MYSELF IN AN ELECTION YEAR

1) No one runs for President thinking, “I’ll be friendly til I get in, and then I’ll destroy it and go down in history as ‘that guy’.”

2) Ultimately, we all want the same things. To live life now, plan for the future and have a little something left to enjoy ourselves a little. My friends who are philosophically at the other end of the continuum, think the order of priorities is different than I do. That’s all.

3) My life is largely determined by what I do with what I have. Time, money, health, and education. Who has been president hasn’t made a lot of difference in that. He can’t make me be wise with what I have. He can’t prevent me from being irresponsible.

4) When Bill Clinton was elected the first time, I was teaching in a private Christian school. On Wednesday morning, I had first graders coming into the classroom crying because it was the end of America (If every guy, who did his job pretty well and had time leftover to get up to no good was the anti-Christ, we’d need an internet database to keep up with them all).

Really, Mom and Dad? Really?

Is that what Jesus would do?

No.

(for extra credit: guess why I don’t teach in a private Christian school)

5) A president is more than his stance on my pet issue. I want the adoption tax credit to be extended. Some people have sons in Afghanistan. Some have children who have medical needs that are no longer covered by insurance. Some have children with special learning needs and their district doesn’t have enough resources in special education.

What I need more than a president who agrees with me, is a president who displays character and consistency.

I think either political party would be happy for me to vote, based solely on my pet issue as long as I vote for them.

6) It’s not worth it to me to break relationships. In the end, whomever we elect is not coming over for Thanksgiving and we don’t have to see them every week.

7) I wouldn’t want to be president. The secrets they have to know. The burden of making decisions that will change the course of history, right or wrong. I respect anyone who is willing to take it on.

8) I have only one vote. You have only one vote. I respect your right to decide based on lots of study, his or her position on your issue, or his or her membership in your party. It’s your vote.

9) We live in a privileged country. With privilege comes responsibility. My privilege. My responsibility. We live in a country with a dream named after it. It’s the dream of freedom to work to become what you want. And to help others do the same.

10) We are not each other’s enemies.

Filed Under: current events, horrible job, life lessons

Music Shapes Minds and Hearts

August 25, 2012 by Maggie Leave a Comment

,A ~~week~~ month or so ago, Jennifer @ Momma Made It Look Easy asked a question on Facebook:

“Let’s talk song lyrics. What do you do about sexually suggestive song lyrics when they come on the radio? For example, Flo Rida’s new song Whistle, Katy Perry’s Peacock, DEV’s Dancing in the Dark. Do you change the station? Tell your kids they can’t listen because it is inappropriate? Does that open up the door for more questions? How do you explain it is inappropriate? Or do you just hope that they don’t figure out the meaning or start singing it in the produce aisle at the grocery store?“

I started by trying to listen to the link to a video that Jennifer had provided. Oops. That’s not one I would even listen to with the kids in the room. By the time I scrambled to stop it, 24 seconds had passed. Plenty of time.

Whistle, indeed. It was an oral sex tutorial.

My simple answer: I turn it off.

Is anything that simple? When your children are small, maybe you can turn it off and if they protest, say,”What? Oh. I wasn’t paying attention to the song. I’m just trying to find a station with the weather on.”

Not here. Not anymore.

When I was a kid, we listened to the radio, a lot. My husband’s favorite freakish gift of mine is that I have a nearly complete catalog of 1970s pop lyrics in my head, accessible at any time. Off the top of my head, I can list several that are about intercourse, oral sex, or masturbation–all hits on the Adult Contemprary Top 40 before 1985.

I went around singing whatever was on. I wonder what boys thought. I wonder what random men in public places thought. I don’t wonder much. Neither, do I wonder, now that I am an adult, familiar with idiom and euphemism, what men think, when my daughters sing along to the greatest hits of their time.

Periodically, I take the lyric of a song and parce it out for my daughters. They hate this.

Yet, I’ve noticed, if they are listening to the AC station regularly, they become ~~even more~~ oppositional, ~~even more~~ self-centered, and begin to dress with less regard to fashion or self-respect.

Some songs have to do with suicide, stalking, infidelity or one night stands. The middle ground is selfish, self-centeredness and inflated ego, mixed with tales of co-dependency and a search for meaning in mediocrity.

We become what our hearts meditate on.

It’s a parent’s privilege, not only to guard their children from too much information too soon, but also to grow those people’s hearts into unselfish, hard-working, imaginative, healthy adults.

Trouble is, the radio station is marketing to young adults aged 18-24, and they like it dirty.

The strategy that works best in our home is a full toolbox:

–Ask them to turn it off.

–If it’s my option, I turn it off.

–If it’s somewhere that the radio doesn’t belong to us– a)distract, b)re-direct, or c)leave the area.

– “Please don’t sing that song. I know it’s just a catchy tune, but it says two things and one of them is not nice.”

“What, Mommy?”

“You don’t need to know. You just have to trust me.”

Just like God says to me, when He asks me to relinquish something mediocre for an excellent promise I will not receive until much later.

Filed Under: contemporary music, current events, life lessons, movies, my childhood, parenting small children, Parenting Teens, radio, Talking about Sex

Just Slip This Into the Anglo-File

August 20, 2012 by Maggie 1 Comment

You know, I’m susceptible to the charms of English culture. If we were into labels, we might call me an Anglophile.

In the early 90s, I used to sit in the wingback, sipping tea. While BBC on PBS laughed at itself on TV, I could watch the dirty, little city washed in slow rain through the bay window. The children took all that quiet time on Saturday night away.

I like tea (For awhile it was a big deal. Like tea rooms and throwing “teas” instead of showers, receptions, or brunches.). It’s some comfort in a cup.

Add in boy bands, li’l divers, and Olympic coverage.

Add We-only-got-an-episode-and-a-half-of-Downton-Abbey-before-the-end-of-the-season-Whatemahgondoo?

Add That Great Movie We Saw On Our Anniversary.

And this:

Creative Commons Images: Flikr

Sherlock Holmes. Set in “Of the moment” London, some of the original titles and a multitude of details of the original stories are included in edge-of-your-seat, hour-long mysteries. The final episode of the second season is to be continued… IN 2013!

There is a sleek, post-modern, coldness about the visual. Probably intended to convey some theme-driven effect. Whatever. The stories are engaging. The twists and turns, totally unpredictable (Mostly). This is the first time I’ve seen Benedict Cumberbatch, who plays Sherlock, but my girls were familiar with his work(???). Dr. Watson is played by Martin Freeman, who’ll play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit.

It seems there is controversy about Cumberbatch’s appearance. Some think he’s handsome and some don’t. Initially, I found him unattractive. But he just kept talking.

And talking.

It’s an extremely sexy show. Not because stories are about sex (except the one, amazing, do-NOT-let-your-children-watch-it episode*), but because the script is razor sharp. It takes my logophilic breath away.

“What did he say? Go back!Go back!Go back!Go back!”

Yes, the family gets tired of my shtick. But it’s so…

Smart.

Brits!!! What makes them so terribly…just so?

All the tea?

What are you looking forward to the next season’s shows?

*there is another episode where there are short moments of snarling dogs. I’d use caution with allowing smaller kids around the TV. They won’t be getting story, but the images might disturb.

The story about sex has a scene where the actress is completely naked, shown from behind or from the front, seated and placing her riding crop strategically. Our most conservative friend enjoyed it.

Filed Under: Anglophile, BBC, Brits, current events, Famous People, movies, Olympics, tea, Television

It’s Almost Back to School Time

July 26, 2012 by Maggie Leave a Comment

I am writing about things I want my kids to have when they go back to school, beyond new markers and jeans.

In my guest post at Mom It Forward.

Today.

Please, go look.

Tell me what you think.

Filed Under: blogging, bucket list, computers, current events, dreams, Guest Post

Yesterday’s Music, Tomorrow’s Dance

July 20, 2012 by Maggie 10 Comments

If you’ve been following along, SOMEBODY hates a cliche. That same somebody, is one.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Maggie is having a mid-life crisis.

As we left our heroine, she was apologizing to the mother of a grown man for the accuracy of her remaining vision-the simple ability to discern an attractive adult male from a troll in the visual field. Having forgotten almost entirely that the man in question is 10 months older than someone she’s been shooing away from her daughter for a year. She joined her 15 year-olds watching interviews on You Tube.*

Finally registering the distant sound of tires screeching and horns blaring.

HEY MAGGIE. IT’S GONE. THERE IS NO GOING BACK. Step back and look, Darling. No one will ever sing to you again about your flipping hair. You worry about being that mom who is acting like her teen. This is her. She thought she’d take a break in the fun to raise some kids and then go back to charging around being spontaneous and irresistible. Now her kids are approaching that time in their lives, she’s thinking she’ll just dust off her dance moves and join the fun.

Then she takes a new picture.

And. Sees. Her…. Jowls.

No, that wasn’t her, that was me.

Let’s tally up the score.

1) Face it. You aren’t getting around like you used to.

2) You are old enough to be the ‘cool aunt’ for people who own their own homes.

3) You are appalled by little kids singing, “we-broke-up-but-Imma-stalk-you-or-you-stalk-me-K?” songs.

4) You keep thinking you’ll get back down to the weight you were in college. No, Girl. You need that last ten pounds to fill in the loose skin.

5) Barring accident or injury, you are halfway to death.

6) Go quietly.

Back in my time, we had a saying,…

“Like hell.”

ACCIDENTAL MANIFESTO FOR THE SECOND ACT

Grow up. Stop thinking magic works like that. Magic happens when the callouses on your work-hardened hands click together and make sparks.

You can’t be the cool grandma, when the time comes, if the baby gets scratched on your navel ring**.

Nothing is as sexy as dignity.

By the time you were your daughters’ age, you were managing your life.

Stop complaining about them expecting to be waited on, if you won’t let them do the job.

All your “reasons” are legit. If you don’t move on, they become “excuses”.

Do NOT pass that on to your kids.

Quit being vain. Take care of your appearance.

If you won’t exercise because you’re embarrassed, the arthritis will come for you.

If you won’t take care of your skin and hair because of money or time or “those products don’t really work”,

the mirror will not pull any punches. Don’t complain about the lighting.

Get over your boobs. No one cares.

There’s no promise you’ll get to keep them. Appreciate them.

Keep them under control, but don’t apologize.

Dance.

Work.

Feel Beautiful.

Love.

This second act, unlike the first, which was largely written by others, must be entered on purpose.

Head up, eyes open. Because you learned in the first act what you can trip over.

Enter strong.

This is when the reviews are written.

* If you are dancing in the 100th row, with a phone you just fished out of Chelsea’s Sprite, the video sucks; be ashamed to upload it.

**This is not to say I’ve ruled out the navel ring, but there will be no ink and a granny must categorically never sport a bare midriff.

***photos have been removed because I can’t

Filed Under: Accidental Guide, body image, current events, humor, life lessons, my age, Niall Horan's Mom, Parenting Teens

Good Morning. Ish.

June 18, 2012 by Maggie 2 Comments

Good Morning. I guess no matter where you are on earth… Monday morning is a beginning. I suppose there may be a tribal people living on the top of a mountain in South America who begin their week on Thursday, but more than likely, they are not reading this.

Already digressing and it’s not even 8.

Technically, this is the second to the last week of the school year. Tennessee school year runs from July 1 to July 30. We didn’t do it. We failed. And all three of us get to experience the consequences. We are taking Algebra again. Maybe Science. Next year is going to be a Son of a Gun. I am not apologizing to them. They are supers. We should have been done in March. As it is. They will be completing two Maths next year and possibly two Sciences. HA. With a 4.0.

I have been listening to Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother on cd from the library. Far from being awful to me, I find her to be a mom with an inspirational life. Mistakes? Obviously. Wrong for expecting kids to achieve what they are able to? No. Humble? Now, yes. Telling anyone else what to do? No.

It’s a shame her 13 year-old wore her down. Even the girls were in the back seat yelling, “She’s 13. Don’t listen to her!” They should know.

I fully expect these same children to be writing fan letters to that little girl by Columbus Day.

As I alluded to in yesterday’s post. Complacency or something worse has blinded me to the gradual wearing away of standards in school, behavior, appearance, speech, dress, home keeping, fiinancial management and spiritual life. Little by little, I have said,”Why does it have to be done, “one way or the other”?” Until nothing is being done any way. And I’ve tried to make everyone but myself responsible.

So with my head still pounding, I will call the doctor, then the director of the independent study program.

I can pay bills. Yay. I don’t anticipate that this will get old anytime soon. We have gotten through all the birthdays and celebrations and are now 9see above0 going on a very strict budget for the purpose of financial recovery. We are also going to change banks. After six years of struggle. I have spared you the banking drama. It has now become cost effective to move. And it’s consistent with our new financial attitude…

The local homeschool fest is this week. I guess I am going. Meh. I need a few things. I have to squeeze it in Friday, before…

I am hoping to drive over to Nashville this weekend to meet with friends. I guess. I am so homesick and it won’t be enough. I know what will happen. We will be so hungry and thirsty for fellowship when we leave. We’ll dream about moving [again] for weeks afterward.

Good Monday Morning to you. Where ever you are. Enjoy you fresh new week. What are you going to do with it?

Filed Under: books, current events, Gratittude, homeschool, life lessons, Tiger Mother

Can You Take It?

May 26, 2012 by Maggie 10 Comments

Today I took The Mom Pledge. Having seen the badge at many of my favorite blogs, I intended to do it some time ago, but waited in order to think about the words of the pledge and make sure I could say it and feel that I was up to the standard.

Mom Enough, if you please.

The TIME cover story from last week with the bare chested woman, was divisive. Suddenly, moms were comparing themselves to a standard they were unaware or didn’t care about the week before. And it made them angry.

The Mom Pledge is about moms standing together in a world that is poised to pit us one against the other. Gathering around to encourage one another, to help each other, and to hear each other.

Not to criticize others. Not to try to change them.

To gain information and pour out our souls. And to behave as nicely as you would as a guest in that persons home.

At least, that’s my take.

You are invited to take the pledge too.

Filed Under: current events, parenting small children

Argh…Is That How You Spell It?

February 22, 2011 by Maggie S. 5 Comments

…Life has become…how shall I say? Hmm. Let’s let pain in the neck suffice for now.

First of all. Twitter. I get what is going on over there, but what is it really? And, oh, I don’t have the cellular phone for it. Anyway.

Second, How come I hear that the economy is bad and money is hard to come by. But when money is hard to come by for us, we get treated like we are up by the pool eating exotic fruit and having my nails done by someone else. Like we really have it, but we are just investing it in some other more entertaining endeavor. I think I need to contribute to the household income, but a doula job puts me out of commission for a couple of days afterward. I have tried reducing expenses, but I am alone in that.

And another thing. I already went through Middle School, and I don’t want to go back. I don’t think it’s a good idea for parents to get too involved in their kids everyday friendships. It’s just weird. But so help me God. I am sick to death of these kids my girls want to hang out with. They look like the “in crowd”. But for my life, I can’t communicate to my girls that these kids are not worth their time.

Fourth and by no means less important, I am a W*ight W*tchers lifetime member. I know how to track (hate it so much; I don’t eat so I won’t have to write it down). I know about emotional triggers and not setting myself up by having the wrong foods around the house. I AM HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. Like I have a tape worm.

Finally, maybe. It looks like their is some crazy stuff going on in the news today. But I don’t have time to sit down and find out what is going on. Is there any of this I need to know? Maybe if I had a better phone I could get on Twitter.