If you follow me on Twitter, you know we watched Twister last night. For those of you who are not from Tornado Alley, I should clarify that it is to weather forecasting what Star Wars is to manned space exploration. Just. About. Nothing.
Except gorgeous. Not only does Helen Hunt’s hair NEVER look bad for one second, and there are so, so, many beautiful views of the prairie. The film takes place in the middle of where I lived from birth to age 27. Mountains and beaches mean nothing to me, compared to the beauty and power of a storm rolling across the prairie.
While talking with my friend, yesterday, I came to the realization that pretty much everything about life has changed. I am still married and still have my kids. We are still healthy. We still live in the same place.
The bills are paid.
I don’t lay awake worrying.
Neither does he.
Mickey has new shoes.
So do I.
So do the kids.
Mickey even got some socks.
We replaced this pump on the HVAC unit. With no fear. No resentment.
There is discussion of joining a pool this summer. (???)
He hadn’t been at the new job too many days, when he became combative when I expressed the slightest difference from his thinking. He’d been
effing miserable, but it had been more of a “we’reallinthistogetherIamsorrythissuckssomuchtoobeatdowntocare” thing. This was different.
We kinda worked through that.
Then, last week, we were both out of balance. Feeling a dread we couldn’t identify the source of. A little bicker-y. Then it dawned on me.
It was the end of the pay period. Our bodies were accustomed to going around in fear and anxiety, but this time there was no reason to panic.
The second half of the pay period (or half our lives, whichever you please). For years.
Once I pointed this out to him, things have settled a bit.
Did I mention? The bills are paid.
The last shot of the movie Twister is supposed to be an aerial view of the path of the storm. I haven’t ever seen a real one, so that’s what I have to go on.
It’s like that. Scoured and razed and fresh and alive to see it.
And kiss before we go back to living the dream.