Um, yeah. I won’t be reading those books. Let’s just say, that I’d bet dollars to donuts that none of the characters in the steamy little series is the least little bit like me or like I want to be.
There’s this cake recipe that the midwestern church ladies make. They don’t say the name in mixed comp’ny. When they do say it, they blush and giggle.
There are actually two cakes I’ve been offered under this name. One has Cool Whip and crushed pineapple. The other is chocolate.
I’ve had sex and I’ve had cake. I can only conclude that the poor old gal who named this cake hadn’t. Or what she’d been offered had been a product of the least possible competence and effort.
Cake! I’m talking about cake.
So the reason I bring this up is I’ve been thinking lately that since the vittles around here have improved mightily in the last 2 months, there are a few foods that I consider BetterThanBetterThanSexCake. I probably should add a disclaimer than I don’t typically choose cake if cookies or cinnamon rolls are available. And I don’t compare desserts with…
THE ACCIDENTAL GUIDE TO FOODS THAT ARE BETTER THAN CAKE.
1) Hamburgers. Grilled at home over charcoal. You know I’m right.
2) Bacon. We still have several pounds. This isn’t number one, because there is just a
3) Fried rice. When I am
making ordering it, I think, “Ah. Whatever. I guess rice.” When I taste it, I am all like,”Dang, that is just good!!!”
4) Peach Pie. From. Scratch.
5) Tea. Unsweet, Iced, Withlemononasunnydayridingaroundwiththewindowsdown
6) Pioneer Woman’s Cinnamon Rolls. Believe the hype.
7) My Spaghetti Sauce. Over angel hair pasta.
8) Real Homemade Mashed Potatoes.
9) Oatmeal Cookies. Great-grandma’s recipe.
10) Taco Salad. My recipe at home.
I am still pro-cake and pro-sex. I am, however, anti-allowing-virgins-to-name-desserts.
What sounds good tonight?