Fifty Shades of… Cake?

Um, yeah.  I won’t be reading those books.  Let’s just say, that I’d bet dollars to donuts that none of the characters in the steamy little series is the least little bit like me or like I want to be.


There’s this cake recipe that the midwestern church ladies make.  They don’t say the name in mixed comp’ny.   When they do say it, they blush and giggle.

It’s called…Better-Than-Sex-Cake.

There are actually two cakes I’ve been offered under this name.  One has Cool Whip and crushed pineapple.  The other is chocolate.

I’ve had sex and I’ve had cake.  I can only conclude that the poor old gal who named this cake hadn’t.  Or what she’d been offered had been a product of the least possible competence and effort.

Cake!  I’m talking about cake.

So the reason I bring this up is I’ve been thinking lately that since the vittles around here have improved mightily in the last 2 months, there are a few foods that I consider BetterThanBetterThanSexCake.  I probably should add a disclaimer than I don’t typically choose cake if cookies or cinnamon rolls are available.  And I don’t compare desserts with…

Never. Mind.


1) Hamburgers. Grilled at home over charcoal. You know I’m right.

2) Bacon. We still have several pounds.  This isn’t number one, because there is just a freaking limit.

3) Fried rice.  When I am making ordering it, I think, “Ah. Whatever.  I guess rice.”  When I taste it, I am all like,”Dang, that is just good!!!”

4) Peach Pie. From. Scratch.

5) Tea. Unsweet, Iced, Withlemononasunnydayridingaroundwiththewindowsdownandnochildreninthecar.

6) Pioneer Woman’s Cinnamon Rolls. Believe the hype.

7) My Spaghetti Sauce.  Over angel hair pasta.

8) Real Homemade Mashed Potatoes.

9) Oatmeal Cookies.  Great-grandma’s recipe.

10) Taco Salad.  My recipe at home.

I am still pro-cake and pro-sex.  I am, however, anti-allowing-virgins-to-name-desserts.

photo: food network

What sounds good tonight?

It’s Monday and I am SOOO MissElaineous!




  1. I am not sure if my husband would appreciate it if I chose cake over him. 🙂

  2. I’m more of a chocolate chip cookie girl and if you make them right well… ;-P Oh just teasing…

    I love the line about “virgins naming dessert”! ha ha ha!!

    Thanks for linking up at my place. btw. 🙂

  3. Cake that’s better than sex? SIGN ME UP!

  4. p.s. I posted about this on my FB page. 🙂

  5. Mmm, cake.

    I’m in the process of reading Fifty Shades of Grey and oh my!

  6. On my list of foods better than cake…cupcakes. I know that’s cheating but I love cupcakes so much more than cake.

  7. I have to say that there have been times when I would have chosen the cake.

    You crack me up.

    I’ve had that cake and I totally agree with the virgins naming dessert line.

    • I wouldn’t choose the cake. Enchiladas, probably. There are certainly cookies better than…sometimes.

  8. Girl, I have HAD that cake and yes…I must say it is certainly better than some of the “ehem…” I’ve had.

    My skirt just got a bit snug reading about this.

  9. LOL @ not letting virgins name desserts! I haven’t tried those cinnamon rolls yet. Maybe I need to.

    • They’re easier than I thought they would be.. I always make the dough the night before and assemble them in the morning. People will worship you.

  10. I’m cracking up at this! Though this Southern lady will have to disagree with you on the unsweet tea! Ha.

  11. So funny 🙂 And I have to try those cinnamon rolls!

  12. If it wasn’t so messy… maybe cake while sexing?

    Well… maybe not.

  13. I think I should try those cinnamon rolls. Mmmmmmm

  14. Now you’re just making me want cake….

I love it when you sass me. Please leave a comment.

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