I have been off caffeine since June. It was, and is, worth it. I knew the next big hurdle would be sugar. In late January and early February, I took a stab at quitting. Right before Valentine’s Day. That was just careless.
It stayed in front of me. I knew I still needed to do it. I know this sounds strange to say, but it seemed there was no jumping off point. Then, there was.
The Lenten Fast.
I quit sweets. Not all the foods that have any ingredient that’s just sugar with a cute name. Just sweets.
It only took a few days to come face to face with my need of a Savior. I felt desperate. I lied about what I ate. (They don’t care, and Jesus already knows.) I cheated like a card sharp in the old west. I let myself slip. A lot.
I realized I felt I couldn’t live without sugar (People do. It isn’t air.). Then I realized there are a lot of things I can’t live without
There are a lot of things I have been saying I can live without…that I can’t.
Yes, I have a lot of idols. (Anything you feel you can’t live without.) I’m also holding myself prisoner in a lot of ways, too. Depriving myself of things God says are good. Going hungry at my Father’s table. Thirsty, at the source of Living Water.
Who do I think I am?
Imagine you provide delicious food for your child and she sits in the chair and feels the hunger pains and doesn’t eat.
How does that make you feel?
freaking sad. Right?
You love her and you want her to be healthy and you want her to enjoy the things that you provide with just her in mind.
That may be confusing, but I’m not talking about the sugar anymore.
I’m talking about seeing my need of a Savior.
Seeing how much the Father loves me.
About nothing I could have anticipated or imagined.
~disclaimer: I’m uncomfortable writing while in the middle because I’m not sure that you’re supposed to talk about the things you do spiritually. But I felt led for some reason today. And Lent is not in the Bible. It’s a church observance. So… Please forgive my continued clumsiness, in any case.~