If you’re new here, and I hope at least 50 or more of you are, my blog is to record things I want my children to know. Now that my face is actually blue, I need a transcript, so when they say, “WHY DIDN”T YOU TELL ME!!!” I can say, “See, Honey, I tried.
Another function of the blog is to give a gentle heads-up to the parent of young children. A significantly filtered look into the future. An opportunity to prepare, but not enough information to scare.
This is the first time the girls are completely grounded. There have been times we’ve removed certain privileges, but never an across the board “cultural lockdown.”
Here is why.
There’s this wise-sounding piece of parenting advice that reminds parents not to punish themselves.
That is wrong and deceptive.
First, that ship sailed when the
pee hit the stick.
Second, If you aren’t willing to be inconvenienced to make an impression on your child’s heart and mind, you will visit judgement upon your future self in the form of the kind of sludge I am shoveling now. It shows what is most important…the child’s character or getting to girls’ night.
–leave Target and take her “I’ll-by-gosh-have-this-Barbie-or-know-the-reason-why” tantrum throwing butt to the car. Text your husband to bring you a magazine and a hot black coffee and whatever was on your list.
–cancel the play date, skip the birthday party: tell the mom, “Sorry.” If she asks why, she’s rude. You can’t make it.
–call the coach and tell him you are missing practice. Yeah, I said it. Another day, I’ll climb on my soapbox about young athletes thinking they’re above the law. Not today.
I count on the above activities as a break from being the organ grinder’s monkey who has to perform if they drop a penny in my cup. Maybe because it’s summer, I hear an endless, “CanI?CanI?CanI?CanI?CanI?CanI?” (Recently, I told them to stop asking coming to me for permission to do things(that call for a ruling) and look around for things they already know they have permission to do.) They’re hip-deep in pre-qualified, socio-cognitively rich, entertainment options.
I was on inconveniencing yourself.
Do it, now. Just a few startled looks from now, that child will believe you when you talk.
Don’t be like me.
They are just wrapping up week one of a 35 day “cultural lockdown” (it’s the new grounding [Not really, I made it up and hope it catches on]). I COULD NOT BE MORE GRATEFUL THAT THE ISSUE IS WHAT IT IS. While I am not glad to have “Flaming-Trousered Prevaricators”, I could be dealing with worse.
Currently, I haven’t been alone except to bathe (and then only 77% of the time) in a week. We started school this week. I did it because if we had more to do we would not have had so much time to come up with stupid ideas (or join our sister on the crew of the SS ‘Ignorificance’).
They are ‘killing me softly’.
Being grounded when you’re a kid, you’re not observing yourself. I’m watching them, and can tell they don’t get that they took the risk and, by extension, chose whatever happened when they got caught. They don’t see “this hurts me more than it hurts them”
and may cause my death if I don’t get some time away from them. They don’t see the whole point is that they’re missing things they’d like to do. And I don’t care.
But I do.
No, I don’t.
It all depends on when you want to put in the time. You can do it early. Or later on.
Most things in life are like that.
So we’re all just…grounded. Together.