Normal: An Accidental Guide for Prince Harry

Several weeks ago, I saw this headline.  If you don’t have time to read it all, I’ll synopsize for you.  Prince Harry is not attached because he hasn’t met anyone willing to take on the job of being his woman.  Sometimes he and his brother wish they were normal.

I found this intriguing.  I don’t know what Harry meant by ‘normal’, but it seemed to imply ‘middle class’.  As in: “Normal people, who aren’t famous and don’t have enough money, have no idea how lucky they are not to have to be selective about who they date.”

According to the Free Online Dictionary, Harry may have meant the mathematical, chemical or biological definition or even the town in Illinois, but it sounds like a backhanded insult for which he won’t be held accountable, because he is not normal.

ACCIDENTAL GUIDE TO NORMAL FOR THOSE WHO ARE CONSIDERING TAKING IT ON

1. Normal is a great thing, yet difficult to achieve.  I, for example, am quite normal in height, hair and eye color; but have never been normal in hearing, I.Q., or sense of humor.  All factors over which I have limited or no control.

2. Normal is house, job and family.  Not knowing who to call when the plumbing fails.  Clocking in at a job you hate for several years.  Being distant with your spouse.

3. Normal is going to the movies and having no one care if you get a drink or a good seat.   If you get a ticket at all.

4. Normal is a $40 pair of jeans, a $30  $9 sweater and a $60 $15 handbag.  Not normal?  How much better even Lancome moisturizer feels compared to Oil of Olay.  Come now, is there anything so bourgeois as Lancome in the palace?

5. Normal is grieving alone.  No notes from strangers.  No excuses for bad behavior.

6. Normal is not an antonym for royal, or famous, or rich.

7. Normal is not synonymous with poverty, obscurity, or liberty.  Anymore than nobility is synonymous with celibacy.

8. Normal should not be confused with normative.  A qualified mental health practitioner will be able to assure you, though you live in a fishbowl; you are fine if the voices aren’t telling you to eat the neighbor’s cat.

9. If your standard for normal is you desire to eff up your life, with no one knowing about it, before settling down, then, Buddy, WELCOME TO NORMAL!  Non-royals have to make wise life choices or deal with the consequences, too.

Dear Harry,

I am sorry you are unhappy.  I apologize for speaking to you as I would to one of my own children. You may well and truly have no one to teach you this basic life lesson.  This is what I do.  Let me invite you back soon for, “Fairness: Why we don’t all wear the same size bra.”
Affectionately,
Maggie S.

Comments

  1. I love normal, though many of my friends would debate the “normal” part as to my personality, which is quite alright with me. I love being able to be myself, go out with no makeup, wear out-of-date clothes and know I won’t be tweeted about for doing so. Even with a job that I’m not crazy about, bills to pay, etc., normal is quite nice!

  2. How not-normal of you to write this post. Tell Prince Harry to cut you a check and get you invited to meet his Grandmother. They could all stand to be “schooled”.

    I love how your mind works. I can see through the same lens that it appears that you’re looking through…
    and I love that! SITSGirl, you RULE!

  3. Really, Harry? Really?

    I would love to know what his mother would have to say about this. She was quite possibly as “normal” as normal could be when she married his father.

    If maybe not even less than normal…according to Harry’s standards of what normal is.

    She was one of the finest souls this world will probably ever know.

    Apparently, it appears William takes after their mother and Harry takes after their father.

    I’m not sure exactly what normal is. There are days I wish to simply rise up to normal…or what normal appears to be at that particular time.

  4. It is just so sad that he is below average (which is another word for normal).

I love it when you sass me. Please leave a comment.

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