Procrastination: Refrigerator Defcon 4

Attention, Please.

Due to conditions over which I have infinite control,

the refrigerator in my home has become so funkified that I’m afraid to allow other members of my family to access the contents.

Several weeks of pushing to the back while adding to the front has created a river flowing with a rotten fruit and vegetable sludge.

Due to the unusually high number of containers of rotting leftovers, we are now unable to save leftovers because we are out of small containers.

There are at least 3 open containers of yellow mustard, to say nothing of the spicy brown and the “Chinese” hot.

…And a mysterious grit in every shelf and compartment.

Note: the kitchen will be closed from 9:00a.m.until 12:00p.m. Saturday, August 4 for the removal of hazardous waste.

Please observe a 50 meter perimeter.



  1. Hahahahahahah—- this is the worst! I am ridiculously type A about my fridge (my husband thinks I am a little nuts. Whenever I visit my mom (and she has this issue from time to time) I spend forecver going through her condiments and throwing out the old!

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