I have flirted off and on with a cold for almost two weeks. Fatigue, a sort of shaki- achiness, no fever to speak of and a little “hey, don’t forget me! I’m here, too.” from the sinuses. Until the sinuses tried to strangle me in my sleep on Saturday night. I got up Sunday morning exhausted and just a little vengeful. Sunday night, I parried with a highly reliable natural remedy, but until that worked, I backed it up with:
TARGET BRAND OTC NIGHT TIME COLD REMEDY
You know what I mean…
Sounds all rebellious and heavy drinker-y, but since SOMEONE left the lid off the bottle last fall and it dumped in MY vanity drawer, we get the softgels.
So with fatigue, illness and self-pity driving me to bed early Sunday night, I opened the box and found the little plastic sheet of blister packaged…
(what is that tires? a record scratching? you decide.)
“Son of a…”
I’m sick. I just want to take this medicine which says, “SO YOU CAN REST…” right on the ad for the namebrandwhichIneverbuybecauseitcostssomuchmore.
“Where are the scissors?”
struggles with the nail scissors
“Is that enough damage to the blister pack?”
tries tearing where that one (1) little cut seems to indicate a perforation of some kind.
“Gosh dang.” (or something like that, my memory is not really clear here).
Digs in vanity for BIG Scissors.
“I am sick, and I have no intention of, by gosh, going to bed without non-narcotic cough suppressant coursing through my veins!”
Slices halfway through blister pack and tears the rest with teeth. Slashes cuticle on plastic portion of pack.
Dear OTC Drug Manufacuturers:
First of all, may the fleas of a 1000 camels… Dude. What was I saying? Oh, yeah.
Are you trying to contribute to the incidence of violent crime or at least accidents in the home? I didn’t end myself from the frustration of clearing my throat every 23 seconds all night. My husband didn’t place a pillow lovingly over my face and end both our suffering. However, there were a few moments experienced in accessing this product that had me peering over the brink. In the end, all that resulted was another household accident, precipitated by the packaging materials of this product.
I understand that this design is useful for protecting children, reducing environmental impact, and maximizing your bottom line. What I would recommend is that you consider more closely that older users of this product may become frustrated and try other more dangerous methods to open this package(my father comes to mind as the sort of man who overuses force, as when he used a bulldozer to jump start his pick-up). They may choose the same method I did and sever a major artery with their implement of choice.
I have a suggestion for the name of the campaign to fix this ignorificance. “Look Sharp!:The campaign to end the ironic injury to the cold sufferer accessing medication”.
Myrtle Shagnasty, Walk-in Clinic Nurse, for Maggie S.