Relief

I have flirted off and on with a cold for almost two weeks.  Fatigue, a sort of shaki- achiness, no fever to speak of and a little “hey, don’t forget me! I’m here, too.” from the sinuses. Until the sinuses tried to strangle me in my sleep on Saturday night. I got up Sunday morning exhausted and just a little vengeful.  Sunday night, I parried with a highly reliable natural remedy, but until that worked, I backed it up with:

TARGET BRAND OTC NIGHT TIME COLD REMEDY
You know what I mean…
Sounds all rebellious and heavy drinker-y, but since SOMEONE left the lid off the bottle last fall and it dumped in MY vanity drawer, we get the softgels.
So with fatigue, illness and self-pity driving me to bed early Sunday night, I opened the box and found the little plastic sheet of blister packaged…
~screech~
(what is that tires?  a record scratching?  you decide.)
“Son of a…”
I’m sick.  I just want to take this medicine which says, “SO YOU CAN REST…”  right on the ad for the namebrandwhichIneverbuybecauseitcostssomuchmore.
“Where are the scissors?”
struggles with the nail scissors
“Is that enough damage to the blister pack?”
tries tearing where that one (1) little cut seems to indicate a perforation of some kind.
“Gosh dang.”  (or something like that, my memory is not really clear here).
Digs in vanity for BIG Scissors.
“I am sick, and I have no intention of, by gosh, going to bed without non-narcotic cough suppressant coursing through my veins!”
Slices halfway through blister pack and tears the rest with teethSlashes cuticle on plastic portion of pack.
Dear OTC Drug Manufacuturers:
First of all, may the fleas of a 1000 camels…  Dude.  What was I saying?  Oh, yeah.
Are you trying to contribute to the incidence of violent crime or at least accidents in the home?  I didn’t end myself from the frustration of clearing my throat every 23 seconds all night.  My husband didn’t place a pillow lovingly over my face and end both our suffering.  However, there were a few moments experienced in accessing this product that had me peering over the brink.  In the end, all that resulted was another household accident, precipitated by the packaging materials of this product.
I understand that this design is useful for protecting children, reducing environmental impact, and maximizing your bottom line.  What I would recommend is that you consider more closely that older users of this product may become frustrated and try other more dangerous methods to open this package(my father comes to mind as the sort of man who overuses force, as when he used a bulldozer to jump start his pick-up).  They may choose the same method I did and sever a major artery with their implement of choice.
I have a suggestion for the name of the campaign to fix this ignorificance.  “Look Sharp!:The campaign to end the ironic injury to the cold sufferer accessing medication”.
Sincerely,
Myrtle Shagnasty, Walk-in Clinic Nurse, for Maggie S.

Comments

  1. HAHAHAHA!!! I'm allowed to laugh because I have been doing the same thing ALL week!

    The blister packs can be worst than the child-proof lids. Totally worse. The corners NEVER peel back on the blister packs and if I use scissors, I end up cutting into the soft gel and getting it all over everything.

    Then I gotta most of the medicine off my fingers.

    Classy. I know.

    Sure hope you feel better soon. You ain't alone in this misery, hon.

  2. I hate all the packaging. Makes me crazy!!!! I hope you are feeling better.

  3. Sweet lord, at least you didn't open the box to find empty blister packs. That would be bad, bad, bad news. I hate those things with the hatred of a million hatey things.

  4. Sorry you're sick! Everyone in my house is flirting with sickness right now too and I'm like NOOOOOOO!!! Thanks for the comment at my SITS post Monday.

  5. Stupid packaging. The other day I inadvertently bought a bottle of motrin (store brand of course) that had NO safety lid. Nothing. You don't even have to squeeze it. So I guess it is either keeping you so safe that you can't even take it or so dangerous that you have to worry about your children OD'ing. No in between.

  6. That would make me crazy. I think I might call the company.
    The pharmacy has a thing that will stopper the mouth of the bottle and you would then use the syringe…and the bottle can't dump. I don't know if they'd sell you one.

  7. ugh, I hate packaging like that. Too bad we need what's on the inside ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. LOL! I love that you signed for the nurse! Too funny! Get better!!

  9. Haha! Being sick suuuuuucks. I'm still nursing so I can't take anything (that actually works) to dry up my sinuses because it will dry up the milk too. Grrr… I'm glad you didn't sever an artery — or use a bulldozer to open the bottle. ๐Ÿ™‚ I gave you a little award on my blog today. Thanks for being such a fantastic supporter. http://live-by-rule2.blogspot.com/2012/01/betcha-didnt-know.html

  10. Ha! The funny thing is that I can usually get my kids to open that sort of thing for me. Go figure.

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