Spring Fever…The Cure

I am trying to hide it from my kids.

I want to skip school and lay out.

I want to shop.  Hard.


So when they ask me to DO SOMETHING,

I have been overcompensating with the long list of reasons why we are not free to have a good time and enjoy the beautiful weather outside.

Which sounds good in print, but sounds bitchy assholey mean (even to me and I am a hardass take no nonsense IRL).

These are the times that try men’s women’s souls.

Combine this with the fact that we are going to have enough money to live and a little extra to LIVE, and I am like a ticking time bomb.


1)…buy my husband a phone.  It’s for a good cause.  We may be the last living Americans without smartphones.  (It was a massive handicap at Blissdom.) I figure if he gets his, then I’ll get mine.  While that may be flawed thinking in other areas of life, I think with phones, it just might work.

2)…buy myself some shorts.  I own two (2) pairs of shorts.  It was 87 degrees here yesterday(according to the girls’ friend Amber and her grandma)…  87 is a record high for somedays in June and July here.  I’m rapidly getting over my shame of the little smiles right above my knees.

3)…take off for here.

It is right on the river.  There are thousands of things to do all around.  Triple A baseball, IMAX, restaurants, shopping, and parks are all within walking distance.  Chattanooga has an incredible downtown.

4) or here

Seriously, this is one of the best things we’ve ever done.  The employees are new to America.  Their name tags include the flag of their home countries.  The foods are from all over the world and the signs include flag stickers and instructions for preparation– fry it, boil it, make it into a soup.  The prices were better than the grocery store for the things I normally buy.  We stopped in on our way home from a fun weekend, ate at the international buffet, threw a bunch of goodies on ice, and chugged home.

5) Seriously, there are two or three other quick trips that we could do in a day on the relatively cheap, except gas is so freaking high.

6) Buy a minivan.  I haven’t shopped this out, but several friends of mine have had a good experience at Carmax.  I am not inclined to do this without checking in with my good friends over at Consumer Reports.  We used their car buying issue to select the “good car” we drive now. They didn’t “steer” us wrong.  But our needs have changed.

–We can’t bring a friend along when we go place, because we have no extra seats.

–They can’t have the loud  adolescent conversation they want to have while the adults in the front have any communication at all.  And when they have to establish boundaries fight, they are shrilling right next to my head.

–I would like a little more cargo space, but I am not managing what I have well.  It is currently being used as an extra closet.  So I won’t list this.

My husband doesn’t like to shop when he isn’t going to buy.  I don’t mind it, because, I am jsut honest with the sales person that he can go help someone who NEEEEEEEDs a car because I just want to look around and if he isn’t doing anything else, I wouldn’t mind a test drive.

Mickey has low sales resistance and high desire to be likeable.

I tell people things like:

“I appreciate that you need me to make an impulse purchase, but $135 is a lot for a flat iron, and I would like to be sure this fits into my budget.  I know part of your sales strategy is for people to walk by and see me making a  purchase, but I really will consider this tool and return if my husband and I agree that this is the best use of the money.  Thanks so much for showing it to us.”

Do you think I would buy a car if I didn’t want need one?

7) Get a haircut.  Not at the beauty college, but from a real stylist in a real salon where you cannot stay if you jack people up.

8. Go to Dollywood.  We have been blessed with season passes this year.  Seriously.

9) Pack the snacks.  Hit the park.  Stay all day.  Maybe even bring the dogs.

10) Go to the movies.  I’d really like to go without the kids.  Dark Shadows doesn’t open until next week.

Bonus: I’d also like to haul off and put my house on the market.  My next door neighbors did that and sold their house in a week.  But HGTV did “shoots” in their house. Hoarders could lower their ratings by filming my house.

Do you have Spring Fever?  How do you treat it?






  1. I do. I want to quit my job and run and play and be with my kids and write and go to the park and cook and clean my house and sit outside and read and just be, but I know I can’t do any of those things. {sigh}

  2. Oh, my. Your spring-fevering is so much more responsible than mine.

    And really? 87* is the high? Try 90* here today but come July/August…I’ll be sweating pellets and swearing in 114*.

    And I ain’t kidding.

    I would LOVE to one day go to Dollywood. I love her. I have forever. That would be just the best. My vote is to get Mickey that phone and go to Dollywood!!

    • Maggie says:

      No, seriously… I am from Oklahoma. When we lived here the first time, I nearly left the roadway when the radio announcer said there was a record high of 97 for some day in August. 97… please. Surely there has been a high of 97 on Mother’s Day somewhere in OK or TX. But we get the payback with 90 humidity and 85 degrees. And too much lightening in the afternoon so the kids just have to sit by the pool 30 minutes at a time.

  3. It’s 90 here right now. INSANE! Is it bad that I just want to sit in the air conditioning?

    • No, it’s not.
      I don’t know how my grandmother did it. She had to have a couple of beers to be talked into turning on the window unit.

  4. So glad I live in Northern California ~ still feels like Spring here with temps in the 70s. And yes, even with those kinds of temps, I have Spring fever … I want to be outside enjoying the sun, breathing in fresh air, looking at the flowers and trees all back in full bloom. Oh, and you’re really not the last family to not have smartphones ~ we don’t either ~ so I guess there are two families left.

  5. I”ve been treating spring fever with retail therapy the last few weeks. It feels good until I look at the receipts. Oops.

  6. I get spring fever too. It’s dangerous!! I had a good experience at Carmax actually but it’s probably not a good place for impulse shopping lol!!

    • That’s true. I need the Consumer Reports Car Buying issue. To narrow the choices. Glad to have another positive word for Carmax.

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