This is What Happens When I Try to Be Clever

It’s all coming unraveled.

I had a separate facebo*k identity for the purpose of the blog.  I wasn’t shutting down the adoption blog (I used to be pretty good at this), but, dabbled in anonymity.  Strangely, I seem to be pretty much back there, though that wasn’t my intention.  But fb wouldn’t let me add another blog page to my regular account when I found that anonymity made me mad.  Really, really mad.

For several months, no one in my real life knew about the other facebo*k page.  Then I got up the courage to share the page with a number of people who were very respectful about my ‘false face’.

Periodically, I would check in on them from the blog persona page and forget that stuff needs to be separate.  Or I’d post my link to the blog page and move over to my household page and link myself, accidentally.  The irony is unintentional.

There is no hard evidence anyone EVER checked on of those links.

Except a little paranoia.

Until July.  The youth pastor commented.  And to be fair, that may have been a Twitter hit and not an FB one.

Then the girls got Facebook.

You want to talk about some Facebook loving.  They were splashing my links all over the place.  If I linked while Emma was on, she would like the link before she had a chance to read it.  It could have been something hugely personal and embarrassing, I suppose.  It would take her a long time to figure it out.  She is just so in love with Facebook.

The deal is.  This semi- anonymity has made me weird.  I did it so I could say what I need to say without fear of reprisal, rebuke, or rejection.

That doesn’t work.

I’ve been doing something Mickey describes in sports.  I’ve been playing the ‘prevent defense’.  Not playing to win; playing not to lose.

I’ve been equivocating.  Holding back.  No one cares what a fence rider says.

I’ve been pandering to a comment.  Hard evidence someone read the entire post.  Site visits are delectable, but comments are better than that.

Fifty Shades better.

Well.

Am I wrong?

Emma was pretty good to remove her posts about the blog.  I, however, couldn’t remember to check where I was logged in before I commented to her. Now, I’ve gotten friend requests from IRL people.  I accepted the first one.  A friend of Mickey’s that I kind of don’t like because he’s funnier than I am and he doesn’t laugh at my jokes.  I’m sitting on two.  One from a boy in Mickey’s Sunday school class.  The other?  The headmaster of the Independent Study Program through which the girls will get their diplomas.  Maybe (but that’s another post).

Friendship on Facebook scarcely equals site visits.  Apparently only bloggers read blogs.  No one is going to care if I have a separate Facebook page.  A lot of people we know have them for all sorts of reasons.

And how big is my ego if I think any of this matters.

It’s embarrassing.

When the youth pastor commented, Mickey said, “You better check and see what else he may have read.”

Thanks for your support, Honey.

I did check.  I decided to stand by it all.  Any changes I made were related to the post I read about a blogger who gave credit on a photo and still got sued.  And blinding pain and a reaction to a medication.

So welcome, IRL people.

The content stands.

Feel free to comment.

You know how I like that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. I know I’ll be there with you one day. Right now, very few people who know me personally know about my blog. I know it cannot last. I’m already deliberating over such trivial things as, should I start a new pinterest persona to match the blog, or let my personal pages be linked to it? Things that unimportant, and made ridiculous by having two online personas.

  2. Hey Maggie, I too have a separate blog persona and only 1 of my friends and My Hubby know I blog. None of my friends follow me on Twitter so this is what I used in relation to blogging but then my friend at work is now following me. I had a panic thinking s**t she’s going to discover my blog, so I quickly removed the link to my blog from my Twiiter page. I don’t think she saw it as nothing has been said. I just liked to have that anonymity as like you I wasn’t restricted to what I say. In day to day life I don’t really talk about personal things not even to my best buddies but on my blog I’ve written about really personal stuff. I liked the fact I could do this. I suppose things are bound to come out in the end but not sure if I want them to. As you say not everyone is interested in blogs etc. I feel I restrict myself and my blog by not be more open about it but I don’t know? I was thinking about a separate FB account but I think I’d get confused! I’m now thinking I’ll confess to my work mate and maybe my best mate who’s following me on pintrest and google plus so I can then use these mediums for my blog too. It’s all so complicated isn’t it. I think if my friend read some of my post she may be a little upset I didn’t confide in her, I write about the fact Hubby and I can’t have children and express feelings that I never discuss with anyone really.

    To confess all or not… I’m not sure what to do. I do like being anonymous and enjoy having this secret blogging life. I have met so many wonderful people through it.

    Take care

    Kate

  3. What an interesting discussion. People at my work mostly don’t know that I blog either. It is not that I am hiding anything. My name is unique and all over everything that I do, so if someone decided to Google me, they would probably find me. No one has ever commented. If it did get out, I would most likely be humored by the fact that they even cared about it. My blog is about Taoism, a very unique topic that not everyone is into. I don’t hide the fact that I am a Taoist, but I also don’t display it all over the place either.

    I liked your discussion, though. It got me thinking. Thanks.

I love it when you sass me. Please leave a comment.

%d bloggers like this: