It’s That Time of Year Again


I think.

This fall, I have written about how we celebrate the holidays. One was about Christmas and the other about Halloween. I came to the conclusion that I am a wet blanket. I “ran it up the flagpole to see who’d salute it,” in a couple of different groups. In one group of friends, they started laughing at me when I said I was afraid I wasn’t much fun. Then I couldn’t stop…um, “quippin'”(?). In the other group, a gal started suggesting ideas and she just kept going and going. She was brilliant

Anyway, given the topic of Friday’s post, it has been hard to get “in the spirit”.

Now, as with most of life, the time element has brought me to the place where it matters not what my spirit “feeeeeeels” about it, crap’s just got to get done.

Happy Holidays.

Last night, when I finished dinner, I was all, “Okay, when I get up in the morning, it’s on.” I did feel good about it. I was sort of excited. Yeah, maybe like it will be sort of fun. If I understand the definition.

So in order to make it happen, here is my pre-holiday to-do list, as it stands.

1) Divas need to make posters to advertise their play.  Due Monday.
2) Also, they need black pantyhose for the choir performance.  This is the choir director’s mistake, but once Sister gets up there with a fist sized hole in her shin, I think the path will become clear.  Sister loves tights and hose, but she thinks they are one use items.  Or something.
3) We have small group on Sunday.  Except the girls and I have choir practice, so I will spend at least a part of today figuring out how to host a gathering at my home without actually spending any money or in fact being present at all.   Happy Holidays.
4) I am the understudy to the lead in the play.  Wha…?  The play is December 9&10.  I have to be a teenager at her first job.  Obviously, the idea of an understudy is that they not be needed.  Imagine, though, a 44 year-old woman who looks every minute of it, amongst 14-16 year olds, attempting to convince the audience that this is, in fact, her first rodeo.  Admission is free.
5) Wednesday, choir performs at “Fantasy of Trees”.  This is big.  They are the only high school group performing on opening day. It is my girls’ first choir performance ever.  We weren’t able to take Marcus last year, so he’s never seen it.  Of course, that over-achieving troublemaker, Joe Friday, will be there, too.  I was too late to sign up to be a chaperone.  So my friend who is a chaperone is going to chaperone and I am going to hang out with her exceptionally smart and fun kids and Marcus.  Did I mention that the CONVENTION CENTER doesn’t have dedicated parking?  WTH!!! Don’t move here.
6)Our friends that we celebrate Thanksgiving with ditched us this year.  No, she has people in Nashville, and needs to go there.  She struggled with feeling like she needed to go last year, so I expected it this year.  Mickey actually got a free turkey from Marvin Windows, at their “We’d-Love-You-To-Spec-Our-Stuff” luncheon, last week.  So free lunch and free turkey that’s just the right size for us…when my ship comes in, I am gonna remember this.  Remember: Marvin Windows.
7) I do this every year, so I have been planning ahead.  We have most of what we need for dinner.  I am not as stoked about making my own bread as you might think. But I have the stuff, and it doesn’t seem right to spend even that dollar if I have the skills and the materials.  I just hate dough sticking to my hands.
8) The girls are playing, “Greenies” in the play.  Hippies, y’all.  They are hysterical.  The teacher is GREAT!!!  We need to find costumes for them, and I am on locating a shopping cart.  You really can’t imagine how hard it is to find a shopping cart that someone will loan you.  I am actually gonna have a homeless person help me if I can….
9) Neighborhood clean up is today.  Every year, they do clean up for the Home Tour the first weekend in December. Apparently, homeless camps don’t set the proper ‘Victrorian Holiday’ tone.  This may be a way to pick up a shopping cart without “bothering” the local Kroger manager. The leaf truck will come Thursday of next week, so we need to get the leaves down to the street.
10)When do we put up the tree?  Plenty of time.  Friends gave us a massive artificial one. I loved it last year, but it takes forever to put up. Forever.
11) I dream of getting the last minute call to be on the tour when someone has to back out at the last minute.  It happened two years ago.  A gal who was hosting went into premature labor.  They called their next door neighbor and moved the sign.  I could.  Last year, someone was on the tour, whose house looked like Norman Bates’ place.  Three years ago, someone moved all their pot plants out during tour.  So, really…if my decorations are up, and I get the mess in the back room cleaned up. It could happen.
12) Holiday Goodies and Gifts.  Thanks to Pinterest, I have, literally, thousands of people scouring the internet for me, day and night, to find low budget ways to re-purpose old shit stuff you should have already thrown away, into Christmas magic.

Why y’all think their logo is red on a white background?

I swear I will be fun by Christmas.


  1. You wrote shit and didn't strike it out. And yes that is totally what I got from this post.

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