Monday Morning Mayhem

As I mentioned previously, the car Mickey drives to work needs brakes.  We have to drive him to work if we need the other car.  He has to be there at 8:30.


Monday morning, I was out bright and early. We participate in a homeschool co-op and the last several weeks, I was squealing up at the last second frazzled and unprepared.  But not this week. I was up earlier, looking better, and getting ready to be more organized for what I am calling my “planning period”.  Even with taking Mickey to work, I was going to meet 9:00 with both guns blazing.  HUZZAH!!!

Until I hit the bottom of the stairs.  Mickey was on his way up and asked me if had noticed the car parked at the end of the driveway.  Um, what?

Yes, indeed.

Someone had parked a really nice dark blue Honda Civic with tons of stupid stickers, ACROSS OUR DRIVEWAY.  I have seldom seen such a masterful parallel park in all of my life.

It was decided that I would call the police non-emergency.  It was about 7:50.  I figured that before the car arrived the person who probably planned to be gone before they could be a problem to the resident of this house, would appear and the car would be gone and I would have to explain to the cop.


The cop came and immediately called a wrecker.  He checked with all the nearest neighbors, there being no reason to poll every house on the block.  The cop had to call dispatch to confirm the arrival of “his” wrecker.  Twice.

I kept thinking someone would come racing out in sock feet with bed head, “SORRY!!!  Please!  OH, I am So Sorry!!!”


We went screeching out of the driveway (well, not really, the cop was still there) at 9:05.  NINE OH FREAKING FIVE! 

I am later than ever to co-op; less organized than I have been yet.
When we got in the car, one of the girls said, ” I recognize it.  It is “two-doors-down’s” friend.”  WTH!!!  I am afraid of “two doors down”.  She is newly single, mother of two, parties like an animal on non-custodial weekends.  And she is angry*.

Well, apparently, another neighbor was working from home and noticed people looking at the ground in front of my driveway.  Looking back and forth up the street.  Back at the ground (What?  Like aliens came and took your Civic?)

So he went outside.

(Funny Funny Neighbor)

FFN: Y’all looking for something?

2DD: I parked my friend’s car here last night. (Your friend’s car? Heh Heh. You got your friend’s car towed.  I bet s/he’ll be stoked.)

FFN: It was blocking the driveway.

 2DD: I know, but there wasn’t anyplace else to park. ( True, except for the completely empty half block in front of the minivan you parked behind.)

FFN:  The family who lives in that house needed to get their kids to school this morning AT 8:00, so they called the cops.  They were here for more than 30 minutes**.  I am surprised you didn’t hear all the racket.

We’re still scratching our heads.  Drunk? Lacking I.Q.?  Lacking common sense?  Or so stone cold selfish, that fully possessed of all average to above average gifts of reasoning, and unimpaired by strong drink, she parked illegally in front of a driveway containing a vehicle…because she felt like it, and expected us to just happily wait until she was ready to start her day before we started ours?

She looks older than 13, but you never can be sure.

 *I tried to introduce myself when she moved in.
Me: “Hi, I’m Maggie. I live in that house.” 
2DD: “Okay.  My child has water on his shirt, I really need to get him cleaned up.”

She stole my next door neighbor’s garbage cans.  The neighbor took them back.  She took them again and put them inside the fence–a separate, on-going, low-rent, mini-drama.

**This neighbor had an approximate time frame.


  1. Seriously? Across your driveway? Why not across her own?

    Sounds like one of our "peaches" of a neighbor!

  2. That is insane. She just thought it would be okay to park in front of your driveway? Why not park in front of her own driveway? What an idiot.

  3. Wow.

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