To Edify

To edify means to build up.

We can edify by means of words or actions.

The activities of the last week have made a tremendous impact on me.

I have made a conscious choice to be aware of what comes out of my mouth and to really listen to other people’s meaning.

Not only in my house, but out-of-the-house, and online.

Why do I mention online?

It’s funny you should ask.  As it turns out, I, having spent most of this election season writing about Fall and Pinterest and Dogs with Low Self-Esteem, found myself at a blog which attacked the political party I belong to and lumped all members of the party with racist bigotry, ignorance, hatred, and evil.

The post wasn’t characteristic of the quality of writing the blogger is FAMOUS for.  She received a lot of positive encouragement.

I was hurt and that was her intention.

I am became convinced at that point that I would never be found behaving in such a way, and that I would study to be a voice for honor, if I have failed to be one up until now. In the three years I have been blogging, I have not been so disappointed in someone whose work I had admired so much.  I now understand better (okay, I am hungry and I wrote the word butter three times before I finally wrote better) a disappointment I experienced early on.  And may seek to mend a fence the other blogger doesn’t know or care was broken.

I wrote a much needed email to a blogger who inspires me.

I called to communicate by spoken word with someone I was getting more and more frustrated with by email.  We parted excited to meet and with a much better understanding of each other as persons.

I lost my temper, and had to take responsibility for why I did that.  Unmet expectations drove my little tantrum.  And the the realization that that causes almost all conflict and it’s a very human trap.  Because we don’t keep a list of our expectations that have been met or exceeded.

Should I begin such a list?

Suddenly I began to notice all sorts of ways we build each other up and make our preferences known and fail to give all the information necessary.  I’ve begun to realize the ways we evade understanding to avoid responsibility.  Not necessarily me, but by observation of what’s going on around me. Then I begin to wonder if I do it too.  Usually, I do, just in a different way.

It’s as easy to learn from someone else’s mistakes, as it is to learn from their good example.

This combination of experiences is making a huge impact on everything.  It glows like inspiration from my heart, and as if by magic, my daughter is aware and testing my resolve.

Words can hurt, but words can heal.

They can build a bridge or just throw the bricks and slide around in the mortar.

If I am going to build something, that’s a luxury I can’t afford.





  1. Excellent.

  2. I believe in edifying. Especially since the other way certainly does not seem to be helping us as a country AT ALL!

    Also, I like the way you think… 🙂

  3. Hear, hear. It’s hard to turn the lens on ourselves, but I do believe that we’re better for it when we do.

  4. “Words can hurt, but words can heal” so true. The power of the word (writtten or spoken) is something we need to be very aware. The impact can be hurtful but they can help too and we should be aiming to help not hurt. We are entitled to our opinions but we have to be aware of the impact our words can have and also respect that we can have differing beliefs. I have observed on different forums how opinionated and aggressive some people can get with their opinions making sweeping statements and how they can attack someone whose opinion differs from theirs. We definitely should be aware of what we say and the impact it can have. When I make a comment or write something on my blog or on someone else’s and when social networking I try to think how does my comment or what I’ve written come across. That said this had made me think. Last year I blogged about about the atrocious riots that sadly happened near me and across England and I had (still have) strong opinions of what happened and of the perpetrators of these crimes which may of offended others particularly as some of the offenders were young. We have freedom of speech and with it comes freedom to express opinions which in turn may cause offence. But we have a choice to ignore the things that offend us. With freedom of speech we have a responsibility to avoid causing unnecessary offence and shouldn’t say things to he hurtful or spiteful. Another example is my Hubby who was in the army for 8 years, finds it personally offensive when people burn poppies on remembrance Sunday (and would call these people a few choice words) but he also says he fought and served for the individuals right to express their view but without causing physical harm or damage. So although he strongly disagrees with these people and finds them offensive he respects their right of freedom of speech.

    Sorry for long comment but as I was replying and thought more about things to me more became apparent. I had intended to do a brief comment but the more I wrote the more I thought. Freedom of speech is a complicated subject and evokes many emotions. That’s what we want though from some of our posst isn’t it, to get people thinking.

    On that note I hope I haven’t offended you with my comment. To paraphrase a Spiderman movie “With great freedom, comes great responsibility.”

    Kate from Surrey :o)

  5. Such a thoughtful post.

    I found that I needed to click away from political posts. While I definitely have my beliefs, I also think it’s okay to let others have their own… yet I saw SO MUCH calling members of my political party narrow-minded and racist and whatever else they could think of. SIGH.


  1. […] a couple of things I read last week that I thought were great.- From Maggie, sometimes we have to learn to be humble. Even if no one else knows that we need to be. That is definitely a lesson I need to remember.- […]

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